The Macalope knows when Apple’s spring event will be held

Let’s speak about dates.

As Indiana Jones famously stated: “You eat ‘em!” He was not, however, talking about calendar dates, which is what the Macalope is talking about, so he doesn’t know why he introduced that up. Also, a few of these dates have been later poisoned. So neglect the Macalope introduced that up.

Recently, there was a little bit of a kerfuffle—a to-do, in the event you will—a taking place, however not the dumb type involving killer vegetation. A unique dumb type involving Apple rumors. There have been rumors that Apple was planning an event for March 23 during which it could announce new iPads and the long-rumored AirTags, which have been so long-rumored the Macalope will solely consider they’re actual when he sees them. And probably not even then.

Fool me 12 occasions, Apple.

Now, not solely was this event rumored, however the rumor mongers have been so certain it was taking place that a number of stated it was “confirmed” and one even stated it was so confirmed that he’d shave his eyebrows off if it didn’t occur.

Guess what occurred?!

Well, an enormous ship acquired caught within the Suez Canal for days, however there was no Apple event on the 23rd. That will not be a factor that occurred. The eyebrow shaving is a factor that occurred, nonetheless. Because integrity within the Apple rumor biz means really shaving the physique components you stated you’d shave.

Now, the Macalope has heard hints that Apple might certainly have really deliberate to have an event on the 23rd and postponed it for one purpose or one other. But such are the vicissitudes of betting your facial hair that Apple occasions are “confirmed”. They’re not likely confirmed till the invites exit.

People wish to razz Apple about merchandise that didn’t ship or shipped “late” when a launch date was by no means publicly introduced. But Apple’s inner dates are usually not guarantees. If an editor asks the Macalope what number of phrases his column goes to be and the Macalope thinks to himself, “800,” however then he additionally thinks to himself, “On the other hand, writing takes time and there are many good shows on TV to watch these days. Such as the historically incorrect space show and the show with the birdman and the man who stares. Perhaps 600 is enough words.” So he says to the editor, “600,” and the editor says, “Great!” That doesn’t imply The Macalope missed the phrase rely of 800 by solely writing 600.

See how that works?

Apple has definitely missed introduced dates earlier than. It missed multiple launch date for OS X variations within the 2000s and extra not too long ago in 2017 it introduced that the AirPower charging mat would be coming the subsequent 12 months and never solely did that not occur however the firm scrapped the entire venture two years later. (Side notice: While Apple apparently couldn’t pull off a “place up to three devices anywhere” charging mat, Xiaomi apparently has, albeit three years later. Of course, it’s potential that Xiaomi doesn’t care fairly as a lot as Apple does about how scorching the mat will get, but it surely’s nearly sure that at $90 it’s considerably cheaper than what Apple was going to cost. At that worth, you can most likely purchase two and simply transfer your gadgets forwards and backwards to maintain the mats cool.)

There’s lacking a date after which there’s lacking a date and flipping the entire desk over.

Wait, was Apple probably anticipating one thing to be delivered someplace on that cargo ship, thus necessitating shifting the event? Well, the Macalope’s not betting his eyebrows on it. Even with the quantity of extra fur he’s acquired.